I think I lost my webhost

lost this message too. I will try again whenever
I’m going to bed
I had a long day of BS in the NTH degree
what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger
huh? how so?
ugh arrgg matey

aarrgghh

arg matey give me me gold rrraarrgg aaahh
that’s all I can say
xxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxx xx xxx xxxx xxx x x xx x x xx x x x x x xx
xxx x x xx x x xxxxxx x xx x xxx x x x xxx x xx x xx x xx x x x
x x x x xxxx x xxx xx x x x x xxx xx xxxx xxxxxxx xxxxx xxxxx xxxxxxxxx xx
xxxxx xxxxxxxxx xxxxxxx xxxx xxx xxxx xxxxxx xxxx xxx
xxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxx xxxxxxx xxx xxxxx xxxxxx xxxxxx xxxx
xxxx xxxx xxxx xxxx xx xxxx xxxxx xxxxxxx xxx xxx xxxxxxxxxxxx xx xxxxx
xxxx xxxxxx xxxxx xxxxx xxxxxxx xxx xxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxx
see, no choice
I tried to explain it super simply, then I x’ed out the words with x’s
nah, it’s just a bunch of xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
posting my angry tantrum at the state online probably won’t do me any good
ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
psychomania
crazy insane

posting suggested titles?

is that what this is doing to me? last time it suggested some title that threw me for a curve….
my good, I was google searching clay aiken (my neighbor JUST LOVES him). he’s got some new look and he looks all grown up. oh, I know he is/was grown. it’s just he isn’t such a little waif anymore. but put him in my wordpress title? oh, please… who wants to talk about clay aiken? geesh

oh, an interview

I have an interview on Monday. The job requires me to scan documents. And type.
Hopefully, I get the job. It’ll be reasonably easy pie. Nice.
I am not always super-fond of office equipment. I get that ‘afraid to touch’ complex. You know little I’m a little kid all over again and I’m not allowed to touch it. What if it broke?
Tell me that isn’t just the silliest emotion!

What is it with copy machines? You ever notice they are all the same? Easy to use. But you end up looking like such an idiot standing there staring at it; wondering where the big green print button is. Sometimes, it’s the number button that evades you. It is always the easiest part. Select the number of copies and press the big green print button. If you see the print button, then sometimes instead of wondering where the number button is you just press it 2 or 3 times. ha ha (so sad).

The computers at the employment office get so ignored. They don’t really have anybody on a daily basis to check each machine. The get loaded with spyware, the address bar is missing (you have to use the search button to pull up your site… this is a bit original thinking), and sometimes none of the url shortcuts on the desktop will open except the default IE shortcut. They’ve got all the tools restricted so that you can’t do anything to alleviate the crap… like add the address bar or move it so you can actually type in it…. you’re stuck with a slow connection due to the spyware…. ugh.. aarrggg!!!

My first idea was being thankful that msn was the home page. I typed google in it’s search engine and pulled up google dot com and then typed in my queries to pull up the pages I wanted. (google addict). I then dragged and dropped the actual URLs onto the desktop. Thought I beat it. NO, the URLs I dropped by dragging refused to open. Nothing fancy. Just dragged yahoo mail and also the state job search site onto the desktop. no such luck.

very silly. all they need is one computer/server filtering content. I mean shit, my firewalls drive me nuts. Heck, AOL has a really good filter system I used to hate to death. They have the user accounts used for job search limited more than the one you set up for your 4 year old to use. they wanted to limit users from changing settings. And to prevent downloads. only thing is, those spyware/hijack pests don’t and have never asked for permission from the user. Or they trick you. How is it they downloaded anyway. and they have mcafee antivirus that loads; but we can’t do anything. of course, task manager is restricted. I tried, I thought maybe I’d close the app loading all the ads at me. sometimes the computers just freeze up because the RAM is overloaded. You can’t empty the TEMP folder or nothing. I asked how often they have someone come in. I knew it didn’t happen… because I’ve been up there so much.

yes, so sad. I’ve been unemployed so long I am quite familiar with their computers. the computer with the missing address bar isn’t the worst. one computer has spyware loaded and has 2 toolbar applications running. I don’t mean yahoo either, that’d be 3 if I included the yahoo toolbar. they have a huge internet connection… this I know (like I said I’ve been up there off and on). I have experienced the internet connection. it zooms. but lately, the computers just lag.

anyway, more crap to say. such is life, eh?

Internet Explorer cannot display the webpage

a link to the ie.dll that loads that page appeared right in my blog
don’t you love windows?
the internet is comcastic for me, and still my computer can drag………………..
what’s the deal with that?
I got a new computer because my other one became so slow that restoring it didn’t help.
and now it doesn’t even register it’s own cd drive. I don’t trust it to try and restore if I can’t load a cd.!?!?!
ugh
I have to admit, this one sails compared to the one I bought back in 2002.
and it burns cds really fast, no more waiting 20 minutes (more like 2 min)

ain’t got nothing to say
saying just nothing
as if you couldn’t already tell

yeah, the news irritates me

“”In The News””
Roni
Location: Seattle, the Evergreen State, Washington
Posted: Sat Jul 01, 2006 8:32 pm
Post subject: mother kidnaps her baby from children’s hospital
——————————————————————————–
http://www.king5.com/localnews/stories/NW_070106WABbabyrileyLJ.1615c7db.html
link to baby Riley’s recover story (initial recovery)

the other day there was an AMBER ALERT issued!!
a mother kidnapped her toddler from Children’s Hospital and the baby needed life saving kidney surgery
it was heartbreaking, my heart sank
it was very earth-shaking
it was ALL OVER THE LOCAL NEWS ( www . king5 . com )
the state had custody of her baby
they didn’t elaborate, they just issued pictures of the mother and a description of her car
I told my hubby I didn’t think it was that simple
I honestly feel a child’s mother has her child’s bestest interests at heart even when she doesn’t have custody
apparently, there was a lot more to the story
they’ve known since little Riley was an infant he was sick
only now, at the life altering stage the hospital did not give this mother a choice
when she refused to just let the doctors call all the shots they called in Emergency Children’s Services
they took custody
she revolted and bolted with her baby
hence, it was called kidnapping and she ended up in cuffs the next day after they found her
they also mentioned she got help from her grandmother and the cops considered charging her with abetting a kidnapping
I think it’s bullshit
they showed one caption of her after her court appearance
she said she was told when he was 3 days old he would need dialysis
she could start it then or let nature take its course
can you imagine knowing from birth that your child would die?
I think I would want my child to live as happy a life as possible
I think it is unfair for objective, fair-minded doctors and judges and social workers to try and make these decisions
what do they have to lose?
that little boy’s mother has a heart to lose
she has everything she is wrapped up in that child

good news is that there were protestors at the hospital the day of little Riley’s surgery
they were there with their own children in support of this mother
medical freedom is important
we must trust those who love us to make the right decisions
I’d hate to see a baby die when there is a way to avoid such a tragedy
but at the same time, who am I to push my beliefs on another mother?
who says my ideas are right?
I have faith and love and trust in god

it’s a sad story
it’s also a scary story

the dad (seperate from mom) said he did not think it was fair that his son was not allowed a family member to be there for him throughout his recovery
that little baby is sitting in the hospital without his family….
not because he doesn’t have one that loves him
but because he was removed from his mom’s custody
so now, the rest of the family has to pay too??
it isn’t right
I just don’t sit well with it all
sure, she isn’t perfect
apparently, she carried herself in some manner that worried the hospital staff
what was it?
single mom? poor mom? ideas of alternative medicine? insistence on second opinion?
what can she do to prevent the state from taking her child?

the state continually screws well-intentioned good parents because of their hauty do-it-this-way-is-the-right-way methods
ugh
_________________
don’t ask me I might tell you
you don’t want to hear my opinion
you don’t want to know what I think
I try to be nice…

—————————————————————————-
—————————————————————————–
Roni
Location: Seattle, the Evergreen State, Washington
Posted: Mon Jul 03, 2006 5:57 pm Post subject: Local news here near Seattle: a mother’s nightmare

if you haven’t heard about baby riley you should read up on him
you can look on {{www . king5 . com}} for the local story “baby riley”
I posted a message “IN THE NEWS” board [url deleted]
the dot com is www . Help Baby Riley . com (without spaces)
there were moms protesting at children’s hospital yesterday
it is a big deal here
I’ll be emailing the governor
last time I emailed the governor, one of her interns called me [ ha ha ]
——————————————————————————–
the washington guv’s email page
http://www.governor.wa.gov/contact/default.htm
and her email link (email page online)
http://www.governor.wa.gov/contact/govemail.htm
.
feel free to say
“Veronica Patterson of Kent, Washington” a registered voter in King County told you to email her [again ha ha]

““““““““““““““““““
CONTENT OF MY EMAIL:
““““““““““““““““““
SUBJECT: PARENTAL CHOICE :: Baby Riley

This has disturbed me since I saw the first Amber alert. I just knew it was [expletive deleted]. My instincts tell me [well, who cares what my instincts tell me]. It is just wrong, wrong, wrong. Right now I do not fear the court’s decision. I trust no judge acting impartially will ever decide to remove that baby from his mother’s custody permanently. Parents do know best. Parents are the the right here. Parents have to make the tough choices. Not some social worker who goes home at the end of the day. That little boy needs his family, his mom, his dad, their families extended and friends. He does not need some do-gooding social worker making objective decisions about his medical care. His mom or his dad does that. They get to choose, they have that responsibility. They know all, they know what’s best. The objective choice is not right. Human beings are subjective, messy and love each other to an end that lasts beyond bad choices. The mother will be left with handling the heartbreak, the guilt, the person who has the right and responsibility to make good choices for HER SON!! We don’t want little Riley to die. But who are WE? His family has known him everyday of his life, his mom lives and breathes him. She must be the one to decide what measures should be taken to either save her son’s life or to make his short life a good one. She will do what she sees is right, what she can live with knowing it is BEST for him. I honestly believe medical choice in these circumstances are best made by the people who have all the facts. Not the doctors and social workers who are too afraid to let Riley’s mom make the gut-wrenching choice she must. Chickenshit protocols is what the hospital pulled on her. What is a medical waiver, anyway? Why should I sign any for my child if the really important ones aren’t even my choice? You can’t take custody from a mom just because you disagree. Now all her decisions have changed. She must contemplate different patterns of choices based on fear. Fear that the hospital and social workers will keep her baby away from his own family. Who is suffering? Riley and his family. The doctors and social workers went home and hugged their kids and said a prayer. Miss Carlson couldn’t even be with her child when he needed her. Nobody has his interest more at heart than her. I know this to be true. I am a mom. If I knew from birth (or say from 3 days of age) that my child was looking at kidney failure… I’d be thinking twice at putting my own child through such madness. For a parent to consider the fear of losing their child in the decision-making process is wrong. Would this have happened if Riley’s mom was married to a man with a healthy income? The question scares me to death. I am a married mother, don’t make me fear the state. I already have no faith in their system of child removal processes. A day without his mother is a lifetime too long. Can you imagine… can you really? or are you just empathizing with her?? I can imagine it. I’m scared. We must stand by a mother’s decision. Even when it threatens to break our heart and makes us question the purpose of life. Mothers do know best.
““““““““““““““““““
_________________
don’t ask me I might tell you
you don’t want to hear my opinion
you don’t want to know what I think
I try to be nice…

interviewing

I didn’t get the job. My friend just told me about work and asked if I’d had any luck. NO. She mentioned the *presence* attitude she has been confronted with. Apparently, she doesn’t appear to be the manager- hence, they hired a meek little mouse in her place. ?? She doesn’t get it, she is still doing the job because they come to her for, well, you know. That’s how it goes. I told her I could relate. People sometimes treat me like maybe I can’t do it, I have no experience. Literally, I’ve been home with my babies for so many years I look back and have nothing there.

I have no work experience. I have natural talents. People have always commented on the communication skills. I am very adept at dumb things. I can talk to people, I can read and write. I can talk on the phone. People naturally gravitate towards me because I always come across intelligently and capable. People are usually impressed by my demeanor, the way I talk, my manners of communications, niceties, positive politeness. I have gracious unassuming customer-oriented ability to work out issues without managing to make a person more angry even in cases where they are completely irate and close to throwing things. At the same time, (and only after extreme toleration) I am quite capable of very forward and direct confrontation without necessarily violating the niceties clause. I’m getting older, so I don’t do that so much on a personal level anymore. That’s cuz I’m so angry. very angry. so, don’t get in this momma’s way in any dark alleys. don’t threaten my kids, and don’t pick on my neighbor’s kids.

I had an incident with a male neighbor. He doesn’t speak perfect English, and he was gesturing in what looked like a menacing manner to one of my other neighbor’s daughters. My upstairs neighbors speak even more limited English but their teenaged daughter speaks fluently. I was going to my car and I asked her if she knew him. She said no and clarified she didn’t know if he would have hit her or not. I just totally lost my cool. Poor man, I think he was wondering afterward maybe I would have hit him. I got up in his face, about 5 feet from him and told him to never talk to her like that again. Who does he think he is? I told her to come get me if she has any other problems. See, even yelling at people I am still nice about it. I was completely off my rocker, but I still managed to stay within bounds of decency. that was last summer. now, we’re going into a new summer.

we’re told that our kids cannot play in or near the parking lot. there are 51 apartments here. mostly (90%?) are families. something like twenty 4bedroom, twenty 3bedroom, and ten 2bedroom apts. there are about 50 kids who get on the elementary schoolbus in the morning (1st – 6th grade). at least a dozen going to the middle school (junior high 7th & 8th). This doesn’t include the kids under 5 or the high school students. it’s okay for my kids to ride their bikes on the trail next to our house (not allowed by us because it’s only feet from the Green River). Or ride their bikes on the street? They say in the parking lot it is dangerous, where will they all go? In the street? sheesh

so, who thinks having 3 dozen kids outside at a time will cause a problem over a long hot summer? and they can’t be in the parking lot. do these people consider the effect their dumb ideas will actually have on safety? believe me, I have mentioned the riding the bikes on the street thing. I just hate dumb ideas. They are dangerous. if people could just think about another viewpoint we could eliminate arguments between neighbors.

oh, I was so worried my neighbors were being evicted. I so wish I could speak Russian. the management issued 7 evictions this month and I’ve been told they were all rescinded. it is such bullshit. I’m on the first floor. my two top neighbors (3rd floor) have been the best neighbors. their kids are typical brats. but the families above me are so nice. they are polite enough, they smile at you, you know good typical kids. I can see the bratty things they do, especially between siblings. the two families above me have 6 kids at home still. they have older kids married off already. the only serious issues I’ve seen are that when one kid has a problem they get their brothers or sisters to help.

anyway, one day I came home and nobody was outside playing. not a kid in sight. wow, they really cleaned up the place. I felt sick to my stomach. how can this be good? out of sight, out of mind? not for me. all I could think was that the neighbors were so scared of eviction that they told their kids to not go outside at all? bullshit. I asked my neighbor, and her grown daughter told me all 7 Russian families were issued eviction notices. I might add, the only Russian families (I believe all from Ukraine). Frightening. Today I was told they aren’t moving. (the gossip told me). I hope it’s true. When I see the mom’s daughter from upstairs I will try to ask.

My comments to her weren’t very nice. I said I was sorry, her family is very nice. I like having them as a neighbor. I, then, said I thought it was bullshit. Fuck ’em (the management). Yes, I’m not a good person and my mouth is dirty.

I’ve seen mgmt come and go. rules change all the time.
I just want fair, objective, enforceable rules. not wishy washy stupid ones.
wishy washy is what my neighbor called her meek little mouse assistant-manager at her work.

see, I wasn’t so wrong about it

I can manage my blog from my email apparently. so if I choose I can send my blog emails from myself. I could at the same time send the same update to my other blog. ((I found my user name and updated it today. it has 3 posts. Jan 2004, June 2005, June 2006-today.)) heh heh

apparently, I have my previous record beat since I’ve posted more times on this blog than in the past 2 years on my other blog. Which I might should mention was not my first one. I don’t remember where my first one was. someplace with all kinds of popups. never felt okay about sending people via links to pages that featured popups {ads are bad enough you know}.

bad news is that I am not subscribed to this blog from the email I check every other day. that’d be my job search email addy. can’t subscribe to anything from that one. could you imagine the nightmare if I got all my email at the same inbox view?? OMG

I have just recently learned that there are *people* OUT THERE who do not delete their emails!! they save them. send these people pix in the emails and they save them till their outlook boxes collapse and die. Geezus, people actually USE outlook? You mean, not because of business but because they want to? weird. very weird. I guess as a person who started deleting emails as soon as my inbox got confusing the first time… I was never inclined to use outlook. I did TRY it. Tried to use it way back when. I had msn and I attempted to read my hotmail and also my msn email in outlook. was nice. very nice.

convenient? only until I realized I had to delete everything twice. once in outlook and then again on the web. I guess I could have been synchronizing them!? heck, I don’t remember. Memory comes back once I start clicking buttons. The idea I was deleting things only in outlook and not the inbox online was irritating. forget it, businesses have a very useful need for a click and email program. I can actually go to webmail if I want to send an email.

just recently I had to retrieve my email address via customer service with my isp. I didn’t need it, I just thought it’d be nice to use the webspace included with my internet service account. unfortunately, I didn’t even know my email address, let alone my password. see what I mean? I am totally addicted to yahoo mail. I find my hotmail is not as smooth as yahoo’s login. mail dot yahoo dot com and I’m 63 characters or less plus a password away from my inbox. msn has a nice hotmail redirect, and sometimes it messes with me. for instance, I don’t use IM and if someone is signed into it and I pull up hotmail… it doesn’t just go to the inbox. sometimes it makes me login and I only realize after seeing an error page that this was one of those days.

pretty unfair attitude I have there. It isn’t hotmail’s fault someone else uses my computer. that’d be my bag. this is where I mention that windows xp sometimes signs that person in without my consent on startup. I don’t want msn messenger, messenger or anything else incl the dancer loading on startup. Yeah, I know I can adjust my startup folder. ugh. can’t win this argument. shutup and stop telling me I’m wrong.

I can argue with myself if I want to. You can’t make me not argue with myself and call me stupid. so there.

oh, the IM thing isn’t totally true. sometimes I sign in. but I do it via Easy Message so I can sign into all my accounts at once. 2 hotmail, 1 msn, and 4 yahoo. see, total webmail addict. my mail goes into different accounts for different reasons and I’m quite happy with it. when I want to read newsletters, I sign into that email. I don’t see that stuff when reading email from other sources (like family).

I had a friend try to sign me up for a horoscope reading. I had to nix it halfway through. fortunately for me, she didn’t know what she was doing. I told her, never, never do that. if you insist on signing me up, I gave her the other email address. [[i think she was going to do it anyway]]
note: she chose not to, thank you so much

people actually read all these ads they get. I had to stop my husband mid-sentence… why did you open it? don’t click on that attachment. I only send links to pictures online. that way the images stay there and anybody I send it to knows I am not a virus in their inbox. yikes. most of my friends are very bug-conscious.
can’t imagine what it is like for people using outlook. guess you’d always and forever be stuck with that anti-virus running 24/7.

antivirus programs frustrate me. they steal your RAM and then can’t solve a problem? How about I get a virus first and then deal with it? I can do that without the damn thing turned on, right?

enough rambling about nothing

pointed and interesting commentary

I clicked away with my last post to make sure everything popped up.
oh, now I have to type away something that actually means something.
pplluh….
quite interesting is effect dressing nicely has.
I dressed for an interview today. Likely good chance to get the job.
either way, it was nice how I felt walking into that joint.
I don’t usually feel so sure of myself
I’m not good at the “sell myself” game

not pointed and interesting
fuck off
in case you’re wondering..
I’m talking to myself because I’ll be the one reading it
hah hah

it goes on and on

and on